Sivan - How to Find Your Path
Over the past nine weeks, twelve individuals have gathered together in Berkeley, CA, to learn and experience what it means to be on a derech, a pathway towards creating a Jewish way of psychedelic exploration for oneself and others. Taught by myself and the sagacious Dr. Ido Cohen, our cohort has only begun to discover together how we can weave our traditions, our music, our maps and models of consciousness, and our lived experience as Jews together with our psychedelic practice It may feel like a pathless path, but as we close tonight, it feels like we’re getting somewhere, together. I’d like to share some insights from this cohort that I think could be relevant for all Jewish psychedelic explorers, wherever you find yourself.
Why Am I Here?
On the first evening of Derech, we began the evening by asking folks to speak about their desires and intentions for being part of this unique offering, and while several had very specific reasons, many participants said something like “I’m not exactly sure.” These twelve Bay area Jews, delightfully diverse and largely unserved or underserved by the institutional Jewish community, saw this course as a way of recovering some aspect of their Judaism which had been exiled or simply untended for too long. The promise of reaching back in as a meaningful supplement to their own psychedelic work was enough, yet what emerged over time for many participants is that they feel isolated within the larger (psychedelic) world, especially after October 7th. They encounter outside and unwanted pressures to state their opinion or to pick a side. As an instructor, the content became a clear and close second to the loving and supportive circle we created together and the capacity to be and express ourselves as freely as possible. In medicine and in community, this is where healing can begin.
Shattering the Vessels to Fill Them With Your Light
It cannot be overstated how often, when supporting Jewish explorers, a psychedelic experience contains both a beckoning back to Jewish being, belonging, or practice and a reckoning of some unresolved hurt or a lack of inspiring engagement and literacy, leaving them in a very uncomfortable place, like an angel without wings. With so many common themes and stories in the group, Derech also gave us the integration space to share our hurts and unmet expectations around Jewish life and the urgent and exciting need to explore more as adults responsible for our experience. This is not mere kvetching, but the opportunity to empty our cups of some of what came before to fill them back up on our own terms. Through our learning and sharing, self-empowerment has given rise to embodied action—"Who’s coming over for Shabbat dinner?” “We’re starting a women’s Rosh Chodesh group!” “Would someone want to join me for the Jewish meditation thing I just read about?” Within weeks, the courageous souls began to source human wisdom from the group and began to create.
The Breath Works
A defining moment of this course was the breathwork ceremony of week six. After learning about the various ways we could prepare for these experiences as Jews, we took time to explore Kabbalistic and Junginan models for navigating what we might encounter in our consciousness. With our bellies full of psychedelic Torah, we gathered for ceremony—speaking our intentions, smudging with smoke, creating our altar space, speaking prayers, and lying down to begin breathing. As the music started, explorers began breathing to the rhythms with two quick inhalations and a full exhalation, maintaining this for close to one and half hours. The tempo continued to build—loud drumming, powerful Hebrew chanting—and bodies began to shake and tremor (this is normal). Suddenly there was an incredible amount of energy in the room being generated and expressed through moaning, sobbing, trance-like stillness, and ecstatic movement. The musical arc began to turn towards the soft and contemplative, the breathing slowed, and integration began, slowly. We shared a meal, hugged and went home. What emerged from this moment for me was that breathwork must be utilized more often to provide a model of ritual design and direct and embodied experience for many more people who have no interest in psychedelics or are curious but not seeking it. What mattered most was that we built up to this moment over weeks of demonstrating care and concern for one another and the ability to feel free to shake and cry amongst new friends. How can we build that kind of trust and empathy a bit more efficiently to do this with more frequency?
It’s All About the Return
Rebbe Nachman teaches that one can only master their spiritual journey if they are completely comfortable with the ebbs and flows of the experience, whether they find themselves in heaven or hell. Derech implies that we continue to march forward, to be in a constant state of novel discovery. Yet we know that insight recedes and commitments fade, and there can be some grief that those big moments which started it all weren’t enough to keep us going. Rebbe Nachman anticipates this despair and states “If, God forbid, one falls to wherever they fall—even into the deepest Hell—they must still never give themselves over to despair, but constantly seek and search for God. No matter where they are, they must strengthen themselves with all means available. For God is to be found even in the deepest Hell, and there too it is possible to attach oneself to God.” Our paths will inevitably include double backing, but our search continues even there. Whether our return is tinged with grief or not, we have gained the experience, we know what is possible in our spirits and bodies, and we have a window to apply the shifts in our thinking and feeling to multiple domains of our lives. In a group, we can encourage each other, stay accountable through connection, and work together and share what we know.
I’m incredibly proud of this first cohort for allowing the curriculum to emerge through their participation, for Chochmat HaLev’s wonderful staff and the space to work in, my co-facilitator Ido, and the work ahead to bring Derech to more who are looking for the way in.
Chodesh tov,
Z
